


Can excessive politeness be considered a mutation?

by thursdaynext_27



Category: due South
Genre: Established Relationship, Fanboy Rays, Humor, M/M, Stakeout, X-Men: First Class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 08:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thursdaynext_27/pseuds/thursdaynext_27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two cops on a stakeout, pondering life's greatest questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can excessive politeness be considered a mutation?

Here you go." Vecchio hands Kowalski the coffee before settling back into the passenger seat of the Goat. "Anything interesting happen?" he asks, indicating the house they're watching.

"No. Been quiet." Kowalski enjoys the first sip of hot coffee, the sugar and milk calibrated perfectly. "Elaine called. She and Jack will be a few minutes late taking over. But I don't think Jansen's coming back here until after we're gone."

"Hm," Vecchio responds. And then after a beat, "Well?"

It takes Kowalski a few seconds to realize that Vecchio's continuing the conversation they started before the coffee run. "Oh, that. Well, I'd go with...flying."

" _Flying_? You're serious. That's the mutant power you'd want?"

"Yeah, flying. What's wrong with that?"

Vecchio sighs. "What's wrong is that it's a boring answer. Flying's what you come up with when you can't come up with anything better." He rolls his eyes. And Frannie says _he_ lacks imagination. "Besides, how exactly would you fly? Are you gonna have wings, or would you do something with sound?"

Kowalski scowls. This is even more ridiculous than the neverending astronauts vs. cavemen debate. "Sorry I didn't think it out that far. Just thought it would be a cool mutation to have, but if I'd known there'd be a test..."

"Jeez, you don't have to get wound up about it." Vecchio grins, then considers the question as he takes his first sip of coffee. "The stuff with the metal--controlling it to your will--I wouldn't mind having that."

Now it's Kowalski's turn to be unimpressed. "Yeah, right. And it has nothing to do with the fact you thought the guy playing him was hot."

"And you didn't think he was hot?"

"Good point. OK, we'll leave controlling metal on the cool--excuse me, groovy--mutation list. How about reading minds? Imaging having that when you question suspects." But Vecchio is shaking his head before he finishes the sentence.

"No on telepathy. One, do you honestly think a cop who can read minds would be allowed near suspects? The defense lawyers would be in court in a heartbeat, screaming that anything you learned about their clients because you went Professor X on them should be thrown out. And two, I sure as hell wouldn't want to read..."

"...Dewey's mind," Kowalski finishes with a shudder. "After five minutes, I'd probably have to use my mutant power to make him think he's a goat or something. Which would be pretty fantastic." He takes a swallow of coffee just cooled off enough that it doesn't scald his throat too badly. "Now the shapeshifting thing, how awesome would that be? Go undercover, not worry about anyone recognizing you, or being able to change into someone the bosses need you to look like."

"That's a good one," Vecchio agrees.

"Except for the part about my being blue, scaly and naked all the time."

"Yeah, the blue and scaly part might be a problem." He figures Kowalski doesn't need telepathy to figure out what wouldn't be a problem. Then another thought wanders into his head. "Just realized, we already know a mutant."

Kowalski nods. "Yeah, next time we talk to Fraser, we should ask him which of his many mutant abilities he likes best."

Vecchio imagines the conversation. That would be quite a list. "Maybe in exchange for an Inuit story about someone who, in retrospect, may have had a genetic mutation that gave him some special ability or something."

"Or something," Kowalski says. They manage to hold it together for about ten seconds before laughing. As they finally settle down, Vecchio focuses on watching the house and counting down the minutes until their relief arrives.

After a few minutes of silence, "I got it," Kowalski declares. "Unlimited sexual stamina."

"That's the one you'd want."

"Yep." He glances over at Vecchio, who continues staring out the window. Perfectly still, except for the twitch in his cheek that tells Kowalski he's doing everything possible to keep from smiling.

Vecchio's pretty sure that one was never in the comic books. He takes another sip of coffee before calmly responding. "Not bad."

He wonders what mutant power could get Elaine and Jack here sooner rather than later.

**Author's Note:**

> This bunny was just nibbling carrots and patiently waiting for a good dsc6dsnippets prompt, and then we got to Day 9 of the Fandom Snowflake Challenge: _In your own space, create a fanwork. A drabble, a ficlet, or an icon, art or meta or a rec list. A picspam._. So credit/blame for this can go to the amazing Aka, Luce and Ande. 
> 
> Slightly tweaked from the original story posted to DW/LJ.
> 
> The idea for the flying came from this [XMFC interview](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN0RWG8swcw). And it wasn't really a bad answer, just not as good as McAvoy's "Amore."


End file.
